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The Most Annoying Words On The Internet

31st May 2021

The English language is a beautiful thing. Shakespeare, Dickens and 34 years of Countdown are all proof that wondrous words are wonderful. They can simultaneously create elegant works of literature, while providing comforting afternoon entertainment as you cozily dunk a digestive biscuit into a cup of warmish, sugary tea.

English (or more specifically words in general) have of course been used for both good, and the not so good. On the side of all things positive, Martin Luther King’s famous speech helped to change a nations view on civil rights, and Donald Trump’s recent presidential campaign is a reminder to all of us as to what would happen if a chimp accidentally ate a tube of glue.

And it’s the same with the Internet. Yes language evolves and we should warmly accept the new words that are added to the English Oxford Dictionary (about 4,000 every year); but there are some words and phrases that should arguably be stopped before they have the opportunity to totes mess shit up.

Here, in our very humble opinion, are just a few of them.

Totes

A shorter more convenient form of the word: totally.

The word is most commonly used by teenage fans of One Direction, probably from LA. If you used the word 190 times a day, this shorter abbreviation will save you approximately 26.6 seconds. Just enough time to watch Harry, Liam – or one of the other ones – riding a skateboard before jumping into the sea in slow-mo. Totes amazeballs.

Blue-Sky Thinking

Blue sky: To illustrate the freedom to think without preconceptions.

There is a wealth of office related jargonium that is often over-used, and “blue sky thinking” is a fancy and rather irritating alternative for “having a think about stuff”. Rather than making you sound smart and creative, its use conjures up images of having a business meeting on top of a campervan after eating a bag of mushrooms – but maybe that’s the point.

Obv

The abbreviated form of the word: obviously.

Mainly used in text messages by the Kardashian’s, people with Chronic Finger Fatigue and stock brokers who are trying to predict the On Balance Volume of stock prices. To avoid any confusion if Kim suddenly decides to enter the world of banking, Obv should be removed from all non finance related conversations.

Cray-Cray

Arising from the term “Crazy”.

Calling someone “Cray Cray” is an indication that their craziness just got real. This ultimate second power of crazy implies that a person is SO crazy that they’re either too cool for school, or literally bonkers. It’s often difficult to tell where one stops, and the other begins.

Chillax

A combination of the terms “chill” and “relax”.

Considering most slang related terms are abbreviations created to save time, Chillax is longer than both Chill and Relax. Ironically this causes increased levels of stress and cortisol production.

If you have your own personal pet-hates or peeves, just blue-sky it and let us know.

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Gooey Digital
31st May 2021

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